I only want to listen to this song.
Truth teaches understanding, freedom develops will, experience confers resourcefulness, independence inspires self-confidence. Thereby success becomes certain.
Persona Q! I can’t wait! :D
Someday I hope things will change. I’ll give it time, because I have nothing else to say.
It’s so difficult.
I was thinking about how one act can bring so much negativity into my life. Maybe I overreacted, but it’s a situation that included other people. I wonder what it is that makes me different. Did I do something no one else ever did? Honestly, I don’t think that’s the problem. I think most people would rather ignore someone like me rather than get to know me. I don’t have a reason for how I act and it’s not because I need anyone in my life. I’ve spent a long time being alone, but once I find a friend that I can be comfortable around, I always want to be with them. It matters to me when they don’t want to spend time or just talk. It matters because I actually care. I can’t be the type of person who doesn’t. I cry every time I lose a friend. Even after many years have passed, I still think about them.
I remember when I tried to connect with a childhood friend over facebook a few years ago, we only spoke once before he blocked me. I was so surprised by that and so angry, but what could I do? I just cried and I continued to miss him, even now. I’m not sure what the problem was. I see it like this, they don’t like the personality I have. When I complain and get upset at them for how they treat me, the situation gets worse. So what can I do? This is how I am. I would think after some time people would have started to accept me, but they haven’t. Maybe the problem I have now is that most of my friends are far away. I’m not sure.
I can try to ignore these problems by working or doing anything else, but once I get home I feel lonely again. All my friends aren’t here to call and say, let’s go out and spend time together or come over to my house and we can just hang out and talk. Even if they did, how would that turn out? When I say something they don’t want to hear, it creates an uncomfortable situation. I’ve known for a long time that it’s never a good idea to speak about my personal problems to anyone. They just judge me even though they barely know anything about me. They make an assumption based on nothing. What I hate the most is when they compared to people or things that have nothing to do with me. Overall, I know that most don’t want to hear what I have to say because they don’t care.
So I stay quiet most of them time if I meet with a friend. I just talk about what they want to hear. I keep my opinions to myself. Still, what’s the point? What kind of friend is that? I don’t know. Maybe I don’t have real friends. I’ve gone into the habit of writing everything that bothers me here and hope that no one reads it. I know if they did, I would only hear them say that I’m too sensitive and I shouldn’t care. And this is what I’m left with. I don’t know what to do. I have no one to turn to and I want to give up. I don’t need anyone to give me attention or sympathy. I want someone to read this and actually understand me. Hopefully this will start to get better over time.